Brave and the Bold #60(Final part)

Yay, last part of the tour-de-force that everybody will soon be talking about(in my mind at least), the conclusion of the Separated Man saga. I've read some fantastic comic book tales in my day. And I've also read this... Let's all sit back and find out how the Teen Titans plan on defeating a giant foot, as well as a giant ear... Personally, I'm still waiting for some of the more... Shall we say, lewd parts of the Separated Man to make their presence known...

Brave and the Bold #60(July 1965):

Summary: Oh, so the giant mouth isn't just trying to blow Wonder Girl from the sky, it's also screaming at her. Yes, it's screaming so loudly, that poor Wondy can't even think... Luckily, she snatches a billboard and throws it in the mouth's... Um, mouth? That shuts it up and and causes it to retreat. From there, the Titans can't seem to locate the Separated Man(I'm going to ignore Kid Flash falling into a pit of mud because it's just too embarrassing...), who has gone into hiding... Even though he's a giant freak... The Prof. tells Robin where his secret lab full of Separated Man serum is, but as luck(or unluck) would have it, the Separated Man's ear has overheard this and races off to get to the lab.

"Holy earwax, Batman!  How'd I miss that gigantic ear over there!?"

That gives us our obligatory Aqualad moment, as he helps the teens of Midville attack the now Un-Separated Man as he races to the lab's location. The teens attack via surfboard, because, as I said, we need Aqualad to do something! The Prof. reveals to Robin that he lied about where his lab was, since he was hoping to draw the Separated Man out of hiding...  Wait, the Prof., a man who has destroyed a town, as well as committed several crimes while in prison lied?!?! I can't believe it! Wonder Girl holds the Separated Man steady with her lasso, which gives Robin the opportunity to stab the Separated Man with the anti-serum needle, turning him back to normal and ending the threat.

So wait, we actually have a water rescue scene and Aqualad doesn't even get a part of it???

With that, the Prof. turns himself back over to the authorities, with Robin assuring him that he wouldn't get any additional jail time for breaking out, since he was only trying to help stop the Separated Man... I don't think that's how this works, Dick... With the job done, the Titans head back to their various cities, and this comic heads away from me.

Thoughts: Ah wacky Teen Titans comics from the 1960's... What would I poke fun at without you? This comic was everything I had hoped it would be and more! I will say that I am a bit annoyed that the Separated Man didn't use his giant genitalia at all in this adventure, but I guess there's always next time. It was also kind of weird that the Separated Man never uttered a word, when he was a giant, nor when he was just the ex-cellmate. It's not often you see a villain who can talk, not saying a word. Hmm, what else can I add to this one that I haven't already said... Oh, I know! How the hell does Kid Flash lose a giant pair of feet in a large, wide-open field?? I mean, sure, he fell in a mud bog, but still... That was just sad... Hey, much like this comic!

I guess it's always been tough to be a fan of poor Wally West...

Brave and the Bold #60(part 2)

And now, for the blog post you have all been waiting for, the second part of the Separated Man caper! I'm still a bit stunned about that first part... It's easily one of the weirdest things I've ever read... I mean, it's just random, giant body parts attacking a town! Like, who comes up with something like that!? What sort of drugs would you need in order to dream something like that up?! So yeah, the Teen Titans were about to get crushed by a pair of giant feet. Let's find out what happens next!

Brave and the Bold #60(July 1965):

Summary: Wonder Girl springs into action and lassos the giant feet and tosses them away. However, teen mayor for the day, Tommy Holmes, notices his father, Prof. Holmes, hanging off of one of the giant feet holding, yep, you guessed it, a giant needle. Wait a minute, I doubt anybody would have guessed he was holding a giant needle...

What am I even reading?!?

Anyway, Robin takes a bunch of the town's teens, on scooters, to lasso a giant hand that was menacing the town's adults. The kids tie the giant hand to a rock, which is definitely one of the weirdest lines I've written since... Um, what day did I do that last post? From there, a giant eye flies over to the townspeople and starts to cry flaming tears! And Prof. Holmes thought this could somehow benefit society?!?!?!? Kid Flash dashes on the scene and starts to run a massive circle around the flaming tears, cooling them and turning them to stone... Why didn't they just blow out like you'd expect fire to do...

.........

Kid Flash then sees Prof. Holmes watching the scene play out with his giant needle, darts over, picks up the Prof. and rushes him to young Tommy. Prof. Holmes tells Tommy that it was his former cellmate who was now the Separated Man, and that his cellmate had stolen the small vial of Separated Man serum(CONTRABAND!!!) that the Prof. had smuggled into prison. His former cellmate was now tearing the town apart in an attempt to locate the Prof's lab in order to get more serum. Oh, and the giant needle contains anti-serum, in case that wasn't clear. A giant ear eavesdrops on that conversation... Yes, a giant ear, is literally hiding behind a mountain eavesdropping, and is forced to fly away when all of the town's teens begin to blare rock music at it from transistor radios... This is something that actually happened!!

Turn that racket down!!

Wonder Girl decides to chase after the giant ear to... I'm not even sure at this point... But she chases after it and is spied by a giant eye, which sends a giant mouth after her. The giant mouth tries to blow her out of the air, which ends the second part of this story...

Thoughts: Well. That happened. To be honest, I kind of just want to leave it at that. First off, can we discuss how exactly the Prof. figured this complete and utter monstrosity would ever benefit society!? I mean, it cries flaming tears! I will dare say that nothing that cries flaming tears will EVER benefit society in ANY way! Like ever! Looking past that though, the Prof. actions in prison... So he gets locked up for turning himself into a giant, separable freak, wrecks the town, and then manages to smuggle the very serum that got him locked up in the first place into the clink with him?! And then, his cellmate steals the serum(because of course he does) and is released from prison, which leads to the Prof. breaking out immediately in order to stop his ex-cellmate's path of destruction? Worst. Prison. Ever! And of course, the cliffhanger has Wonder Girl, the most powerful of the Teen Titans, being blown out of the air by a giant mouth... If she can't save herself from that, she deserves to be killed! By a giant mouth...

Brave and the Bold #60

So, I have to say, getting back into reviewing mode has been pretty easy. I had some trepidation at first, hell, I wasn't even sure I even wanted to review after being out of the game(so to speak) for so long. But I guess it's like riding a bike. Or, in my case, a really sucky bike with square wheels that fall off all the time. Anyway, next up is the second adventure of the Teen Titans. And from the looks of the cover, it seems out favorite trio of sidekicks are going to add a forth member! Which is probably for the best, because really, what kind of a team has THREE members!? Onward!

Brave and the Bold #60(July 1965):

Summary: So wait, DC didn't do anything with the Titans for an entire year after they first got together?! Huh... In the town of Midville, the adults have given their teenagers control of the government for a day... Why, I have no clue, but it's what happened. A kid named Tommy Holmes takes over as acting mayor, with the teens doing everything in town more professionally than the adults. At least until the menace of the Separated Man strikes!!! Yes, the Separated Man... It seems Tommy's father was a brilliant scientist who managed to, I shit you not, turn his body gigantic and cause his body parts to separate from one another... Yep. As fate would have it, Prof. Holmes couldn't control his giant parts(which I often use as an excuse!!!), and they rampaged around town. When the Prof. returned to normal, he was locked in prison for the crimes his gigantic body parts committed. This is the trippiest story I've read in some time! And now, during his son's finest hour(as a one day teen mayor), the Separated Man has returned.

That's kinda like one of those damn hands in Zelda that takes you back to the beginning of the dungeon!  I hate those hands...

The town's adults naturally blame Tommy for the rampage, but he escapes from them and contacts the Teen Titans via ham radio, which I guess was like the Internet of the 60's? Probably? The Titans arrive on the scene(arm in arm for some reason) and are filled in with regards to the Separated Man.

Who the hell enters a room like that??

Tommy swears to the Titans that his dad is innocent(even though he escaped from prison earlier in the day...), but before they can decide what to do, two giant feet begin to march towards Tommy and the Titans! And that ends the first part of this modern day classic.

Thoughts: So it's wrong that I was wondering what the Professor's gigantic penis was up to, right? I mean, I feel it's wrong, but I don't know how somebody can read this story and NOT wonder the same... Ah well, maybe we'll find out in the second part. Let's see, where the hell do I even begin... We have a scientist who, to benefit mankind in SOME way, I have no idea what way, but in some way, makes himself grow to giant stature and split apart?!? Like, this dude was sitting at his desk and was like, “You know what humanity at large needs? My giant gonads running around town helping old women cross the street and cleaning the gutters...” And then he went ahead and tried to make that a reality!!! Egads... It's also kind of weird that the adults, many of whom were openly mistrustful of Tommy from the onset of this comic, allowed him to become the teen mayor. It's also going to be funny when we inevitably discover that some no good adult broke the Prof. out of prison and went on a rampage specifically to discredit Tommy... I mean we all know that's how this one turns out, right? It just seems like a lot of trouble to go through to discredit a kid, who is only mayor for a single day, but what can ya do? Well, I don't know about you, but I'm eagerly awaiting what giant body part attacks the Titans next!

Ugh, go back to hell, Barry...

Brave and the Bold #54(part the last)

And we've finally, FINALLY made it to the end of the very first Teen Titans story ever made! And the very first story to feature the amazing Mr. Twister! Okay, that second one isn't nearly as important as the first one. But somewhere, somewhere on this planet there is one lone person, one lone voice that is cheering the first appearance of Mr. Twister. Probably, right? I mean, people have terrible taste, it stands to reason somebody out there likes our boy Twisty McTwist. Yeah, Twisty McTwist. I said it. Now, let's get down to brass tacks as they say... Brass tacks? The hell?!

The Brave and the Bold #54(June 1964)

Summary: Okay, with the kids safe thanks to Aqualad and the herd of whales(...), Mr. Twister decides to just destroy the town of Hatton Corners and has it rain sand. Because tornadoes can do that? Okay then... The sand begins to pile up, but Kid Flash dashes around the town and drags the sand after him, leaving the town sparkly and clean. Nice going, Kid Flash! Mr. Twister decides to up the ante by sending a deluge of rain upon the town. Within moments, the town is hopelessly flooded... Or it would be if not for Aqualad and a whale with a huge horn on it's face... Wait, that's a real thing?! Let's check wikipedia, it's never steered me wrong yet... Well I'll be damned, a narwhal is a real thing! Okay, so the narwhal dives to the bottom of the flooded town and drills a hole in the ground, which allows all of the water to rush underground, um, unflooding the town... Yeah, that's not a real word, but it's as good as I can come up with at the moment.

Aqualad riding a narwhal.  Totally not erotic at all...

So with his first two attacks foiled, Mr. Twister brings out the big guns and has it rain fire on the town... Really?! This is starting to sound like one of those horrible movies on the Sci-Fi channel now! Not only that, but Mr. Twister blasts Aqualad and Kid Flash with lightning bolts to make sure they wouldn't be able to thwart him again. Mr. Twister ignores Robin because he doesn't have any powers, and as such is deemed no threat. However, the cold, bitter hand of irony strikes when Robin snatches Mr. Twister's enchanted staff away from him with a “bat-rope”(you know, as opposed to one of those lousy regular ropes), which was the source of Mr. Twister's powers. Robin tosses the staff into one of the fires Mr. Twister started(double irony!!), destroying the staff and ending the threat of Mr. Twister.

Um, so Robin was okay with killing Mr. Twister?  

And that's that, Johnny Law takes the defeated Mr. Twister away, the teenagers return to the town, and the parents are happy to have them. Huzzah!

Thoughts: What can I say? It was stupid, mindless, 60's fun! I'm a sucker for these sort of comics. Most of it didn't make sense, like Mr. Twister getting his powers when he enchanted a magic staff with a magic Indian potion... Or Mr. Twister making it rain sand, and then FIRE... Plus, Mr. Twister's motivations were kind of all over the place... First he wanted passenger pigeon feathers. Then he stole the town's teens and had them build him a tower to nowhere. Then he just decided to destroy the town? Like why? What did he want? I kind of think he really just wanted the feathers for that dumb cape he was wearing, which is kind of sad. If he would have just gotten his feathers, none of the rest of that grim tale would have unfolded. But then we wouldn't have any Teen Titans comics, so I guess it's a good thing passenger pigeons went extinct. That's another thing, I learned a lot from this comic! Dead passenger pigeons, narwhals, whales moving islands, Indian potions, caves, this comic taught AND entertained me! So nice job, DC from the 60's. I tip my imaginary hat to you!

Brave and the Bold #54(part the second)

Alright, back to the Teen Titans, in their very first mission... I guess? I mean, with the way DC does and undoes their continuity, I don't even know if this adventure even happened... How dumb is that? I mean, I don't know what counts and doesn't count as continuity anymore... And that's why I stopped reading current books ladies and gents! Well, this is the very first Titans adventure in chronology... I guess I can go with that, right? Anyway, the last post went WAAAAAAAY longer than I would have liked, especially considering the comic itself was only a few pages long. This time I'm going to try to rein myself in and get the summary portion under control... Or so I claim...

The Brave and the Bold #54(June 1964)

Summary: Alright, let's do this thing. Picking up from part one, the town's mayor tells Robin that way back in colonial times(so much for a quick summary...)Mr. Twister's ancestor gave the town of Hatton Corners away in exchange for a single passenger pigeon feather a year, and if they neglected his price, he could take one of their youths. The townspeople happily accepted that condition, because why wouldn't they? It's asinine! A feather for a town? Sure thing, sucker! Unfortunately, passenger pigeons went extinct(or so this very educational comic tells me) and Mr. Twister popped up one day demanding his back rent of (now extinct) pigeon feathers or children. The mayor laughed Mr. Twister off, but then Mr. Twister returned and made good on his threats. So who's laughing now!!! Whew, with that back story out of the way, let's move on. Quickly! Robin deduced that Mr. Twister(and I'm going to keep calling him Mr. Twister, even though it would be SO much easier to just call him Twister) had flown off with the teens to the nearby Goat Island, which gives us a reason to have Aqualad around, as he ferrets Kid Flash and Robin to the island on a manta.

Aqualad is kind of a dick...  And I don't mean Grayson...

Upon arriving, the Titans find the kids building a giant stone twister....... Because reasons, I guess... Pleased with what his slaves were doing, Mr. Twister hops on a boat and leaves, followed by a stowaway Robin. Kid Flash finishes the bizarre stone structure for the kids, while Robin learns that Mr. Twister's powers came from an old Indian(or Native American, if you prefer) potion he found in a cave... Yeah. Anyway, Robin goes to jump Mr. Twister, but loses due to Mr. Twister's dread powers.

Yes!!  Pocket sand!!!

Mr. Twister flies Robin back to the town's adults with a note warning them that he'd do something even more dastardly if he didn't get his feathers(but he has the kids now...). Meanwhile, back on the island, Aqualad discovers that the island was barely attached to the ocean floor, and gets a herd of whales to move the entire island away, leaving Mr. Twister confused upon his return... And that ends part the second.

Thoughts: What?! A herd of whales took the entire island away? And it just stayed in one big piece? Like, it didn't break up or anything, it just fit perfectly right on those whales' backs and off they went? And what does that mean for Kid Flash's stone monument to the glory of twisters?! Why did he even go through with building it if Aqualad was just going to hide the island? Ugh... What a waste of time for poor Kid Flash...

I don't even know why that's a thing anybody would want built...

All that building to impress Mr. Twister, all for naught... Oh, and of course all the adults now missed the teens and all of the teens missed their parents due to absence making the heart grow fonder, or passenger pigeons or something... I don't know... What I do know is that we're only one part away from knowing how this story ends! Excitement!! Exclamation points!!! Passenger pigeons!!!!

The Brave and the Bold #59

So a little bit of Teen Titans before, a little bit of Batman Team-ups now! It appears that the Brave and the Bold comic series from the 60's would have The Batman teaming up with a random other hero... Sort of like that cartoon from a few years back called 'The Brave and the Bold'... I wonder if there's any connection? Anyway, being that this was the 60's, I'm going to guess these team-ups had weird, happy Batman, as opposed to broody, bitchy Batman...

The Brave and the Bold #59(April 1965)

Summary: With Alfred on vacation, and Robin away on a school trip, a bored Bruce Wayne throws darts at a newspaper(which is weird), bringing an odd story to his attention.

Poor Bruce Wayne...  Billions of dollars and not a friend in the world...

Apparently, a wanted fugitive was planning on giving a speech, which is something the bored Mr. Wayne figured he should check out. Upon arriving at the theater where the speech is being held, Bruce bumps into his old chum, Commissioner Gordon, who swears to arrest the fugitive the second he sees him. Brucie heads inside and along with several other Gothamites, realizes that the fugitive wasn't physically there, but had sent in a video of himself to be played on the big screen. The fugitive(why I'm not just using his name beats the hell out of me...) shows all sorts of new evidence from his crime and implores the good(and dumb) people of Gotham to demand he get a new trial. The Gothamites seem to be convinced and leave the theater. Pipe-smoking Bruce Wayne bumps into Gordon(again?) on his way out and tells the Commish that it seems that the fugitive had won over he public. From there, Brucie heads home and discovers a weirdo in a costume there. The weirdo, who goes by the name of the Time Commander, shows off his ability to rewind time for an object or person. He reveals that he is the fugitive from earlier, as well as telling Bruce that due to his time powers, he knew Batman and Bruce Wayne were one and the same. Finally, the Commander asks for Batman's help in proving his innocence, which Bats, with his identity revealed, has no chose but to agree to. From there it's off to Coast City, where Hal Jordan receives a coded telegram from Batman, telling him to head to Gotham City. The telegram also reveals that Batman is Bruce Wayne and that Batman knew that Green Lantern was Hal Jordan. Green Lantern flies off and arrives at Wayne Manor, where he finds Batman laying on a table motionless, with the exception of his mouth, which was moving. GL makes a stethoscope(of course he does...) and listens to Batman's whispering, learning that Batman poisoned himself while making crime fighting chemicals(?!) and was unable to move. GL happily blasts Batman with his ring, which somehow results in Batman getting powered up.

Um, no...  

After being thanked, GL leaves, but is forced to head back when he realizes that his watch(which he apparently wears on the outside of his costume...) had fallen off at Wayne Manor. GL gets back inside and finds his watch, but doesn't find Batman. He does overhear on the radio that Batman had just robbed a government lab. And that's the end of chapter 1!

Thoughts: I don't get why the Time Commander followed Bruce Wayne home at all... He claimed that he did so after hearing Bruce and Gordon talk, but it wasn't like Bruce was screaming that the fugitive was innocent, he simply stated that the fugitive had won over the public. The scene between the Commander and Bruce made it seem like Bruce couldn't be more on the Commander's side. Also, the coded telegram to Hal... So Carol gives Hal the telegram, Hal looks at it and gathers that Bruce Wayne is Batman, Hal is Green Lantern, and that he was needed in Gotham... Even though it's coded in such a way that Carol can't understand it... But Hal does, just by looking at it... He doesn't use a decoder, or like, I don't know, sit down and puzzle it out, he just looks at it and boom, decoded. I'm not even going to touch upon Hal somehow losing his watch or Batman poisoning himself making “crime fighting chemicals”, and the fact that Hal was 100% fine with that. I'll instead just move on and say that this was a pretty meh first part... Good move on my part for picking it to review...

The Brave and the Bold #54

First book here at the new blog, and we go way back to the old era of the Teen Titans... Ah yes, the Teen Titans... Dick Grayson in a speedo, Aqualad just sort of there, Wonder Girl getting kidnapped every issue, good times had by all! I have the black and white DC Showcase edition of the early Teen Titans adventures, so that's what I'll be using. First up is the very first team up of the teenage heroes of DC. Sidekicks Unite!!

The Brave and the Bold #54(June 1964)

Summery: So the town of Hatton Corners is having some problems between the teenagers in town and the adults. The adults want a curfew on all of their offspring, while the teens want... A new clubhouse... Even though they're holding their meeting IN a clubhouse! And on top of that, they decide to go on strike(from what?!) if their demands aren't met... In what I can only imagine was a slow news day worldwide, Robin, Kid Flash and Aqualad(?!) inform their mentors of the terrible troubles in Hatton Corners. Like the squares they are, the older heroes side with the adults, but all three squares are okay with their sidekicks heading to Da Corners to speak on behalf of the kids. Upon arriving and meeting each other, the three boys discover that the teenage clubhouse had been destroyed!!! Well, now I guess I have to take it back, Da Corners' kids really did need a new clubhouse after all... Robin and company head to the town hall, where the mayor shows them a note, presumably from the teenagers, claiming they had left town and gone on strike, and that they wanted a new clubhouse. After reading the letter though, Robin calls shenanigans, since the letter writer uses the word “music”, which is a word no hip cat would use in the 60's, daddio!

Mr. Twister is a jive-ass turkey!

The boys split up to search for the missing teens, but are soon confronted by a tornado, which hurls Robin through the air. Kid Flash flies to catch him(Um, I didn't think he could do that...), and the two land safely. Some really pathetic looking villain named Mr. Twister(Yep, I assume he loves him a game of Twister), confronts the town people and tells them he had kidnapped all of their teenagers.

This is literally one of the worst looking villains I have ever seen...  Literally!

He claims to want revenge on the town, but doesn't say for what reason, nor does he list any demands, he simply flies away in a tornado, warning that he would return... And that's the end of chapter one... Huh, I forgot these older books had chapters! Cool, I can stop right here for now!

Thoughts: Honestly, the main thought I had going through my head during this entire issue was that episode of the Simpsons where the kids and adults paired off and sang at each other... As for this comic? I don't know what to say... Teenagers in a clubhouse were demanding a clubhouse. Aqualad was getting news about the surface world from an eel with a bottle tied to it... And it didn't even bring important news! Like shit about the Cold War or something, no, it brought that story(that was in all the papers nationwide) about that dumbass town! Kid Flash was randomly flying...

Who needs Superman when Kid Flash is on the scene?

And to top it all off the big bad was a dude named Mr. Twister! Not even just Twister, that guy had the audacity to demand he was called Mr. Twister! He didn't even have a badass costume, he was just wearing some shit left over from the Revolutionary War! On the plus side, Robin told Batman he sounded like an old square, which is always a plus in my book.

I'm a little surprised Batman didn't beat the living hell out of Dick for that comment...

On top of that, Aqualad showed his utmost importance to this issue by scouring the waters around Da Corners for the missing kids, you know, in case every single teenager in town drowned at the same time. So that was helpful of him. Speaking of helpful, that chapter break was great! Now I can end this post and get started on Chapter 2, which is ominously titled: 'Town Without Teenagers!' Dun dun dun!!!