Friday, March 10, 2017

Action Comics Annual #1

Let's take a break from the Teen Titans for a little bit, and check out some 1980's Superman instead. Specifically, Superman vs vampires, back before vampires were popular, hot and sparkly. Now, normally I'd laugh that entire Superman vs random vampires concept off, what with Supes being bulletproof and all, but vampires are magical creatures(I guess?) and therefore fall into the rare, “Things that could kick Superman's ass” category. Or so I'm guessing. If not, I'm thinking this comic isn't going to last long...

Action Comics Annual #1(1987)
This review brought to you by Planters Peanuts! 'Planters, put some nuts in your mouth!'

Summary: A vampire named Skeeter(she's from a shack in South Carolina, where I guess names like Skeeter are commonplace) has returned to her home town after taking a trip to see Gotham City. That trip led to Ms. Skeeter vampire biting some of the locals, which has led to Batman tracking her down to what seems like Hicksville, USA... After realizing that he was dealing with a legit vampire, and not a sick vampire wannabe, Batman gets in contact with Clark Kent, and asks him to send Superman, since vampires were a bit out of Batman's wheelhouse(but, in Batman's mind at least, right up Superman's alley!). While waiting for Supes to arrive, Batman keeps searching the town and bumps into Skeeter, who thinks Batman was there to help her(for some reason...). Skeeter soon realizes that Batman wasn't the savior she was hoping for, and lets him fall into the swamp, where she figures he died... Huh, she really doesn't know Batman, does she?
Yup, I'm sure that's the end of the Dark Knight.

From there, Superman, who just arrived in town, prevents a bunch of townspeople under Skeeter's spell from wrecking the town. For unrevealed reasons. Well, not Supes, the townspeople. I don't know what their gripe is. Or Skeeter's actually. Also, Superman builds a wall around the possessed townspeople at super-speed, which doesn't seem possible, what with a bunch of possessed people wandering around, Superman having to find wall pieces, as well as stuff that will keep said pieces from just falling down, time for said stuff to dry, etc, etc...
Now how the hell did he do that??!

Anyway, Skeeter shows up and engages Supes in battle, besting him due to that whole magic thing I mentioned earlier.
Damn this fiendish vampire with it's kung fu treachery!

Before Skeeter can deliver the fatal bite though, Batman stabs her through the back with a long pointed stick, killing her.
Well shit, if that doesn't deserve a ♫Wah Wah♫ I don't know what does!

Annnnnnnnd, that's a wrap.

Thoughts: Okay, I have to ask, how the hell did Batman manage to track Skeeter(god do I hate that name...) to Hicksville, South Carolina in the first place? He didn't recognize Skeeter when the two met up, which means he wasn't tracking Skeeter by name or face. He didn't even know that Skeeter was a legitimate vampire until after he meets her, so what gives? I mean, I know a lot of times we just chalk coincidences and odd story points up to Batman's whole “World's Greatest Detective” thing, but this comic was taking that a little bit too far! Moving past that, in this comic we find out that Batman doesn't know that Superman is Clark Kent... How does that work?!? He's the World's Greatest Detective!! Those damn glasses Clark wears are enough to fool Batman?! THE Batman?! I swear, if I ever decided to rob a bank I'm just going to style my hair slightly different and put on a pair of glasses... Nobody would possibly be able to recognize me then! Also, what gives with Skeeter watching Batman fall into the swamp and then act like he was certainly dead? It's not like he fell into a bottomless pit, he fell into a swamp! Wouldn't you want to, oh, I don't know, make sure he was dead, especially considering that he now knows where you live!? On the plus side, this comic gave us Batman being his regular dickish self to Superman, and who doesn't enjoy that?
Batman was the one who got Supes into this mess to begin with!!


  1. So... You're just going to ignore the fact that Batman killed someone?! That's... Not an important plot point to you? The fact this woman can best superman but us killed by a man with a stick that claims he doesn't kill?

    Anyway, I popped huge for the black dynamite reference and the planters peanut joke.

  2. Eh, it's just a vampire named Skeeter. If anything Bats was doing the world a favor by killing it! I do love the fact that Supes was able to build a functional house in seconds, but couldn't figure a way to kill one kung fu vampire...