Monday, April 3, 2017

Teen Titans #9

And here comes issue #9! I've almost made it to double digits, which means I'll be 1/10th of the way finished with this series!! Huzzah?... Hmm, that's still a hell of a lot of comic books to go through... But 1/10th less than I started with, so huzzah!!! (Also, JT is here to crash this review! Some of you may remember that X and I like to jump onto each others reviews, make comments, and generally make fun of the poor sap that's being dropped in on. So, let's have some fun!)

Teen Titans #9(May 2004)

Summary: We kick this issue off with the newest Brother Blood spouting nonsense at Raven and biting that weird gem off of her head. (It reminded me of Boogeyman v. Jillian Hall for all you poor, poor, wrestling fans out there. ) From there, the Titans, in this case Kid Flash, Robin, Wonder Girl and Beast Boy, are looking into some strange happenings in San Francisco... Well, stranger than usual. In this instance, a mess of fortune tellers had seizures and went into comas at the same time. As a result, Robin decides to take a batmobile to the hospital, and makes the mistake of letting Kid Flash drive. “Hilarity” ensures. (Grade "A" hilarity! Kids crashing cars, fighting in the streets, I'm sure San Francisco is loving the Titans...)
Oh!  Upside down is car, so is big funny here!!

Meanwhile, Ravager and Deathstroke are still killing Brother Blood's henchmen in an effort to find and kill Raven to make sure Jericho stays gone.
I'm still confused by how Slade knows Raven is with Brother Blood, but whatever... (I'm confused by Ravager constantly saying daddy... well not confused, just creeped the fuck out.)

Also, Superboy discovers Cyborg's head in a lab at Titans Tower and gets to hear all about how Cyborg maintains himself... Really, that happens. (Maintains is code for jacks it, right?) The Titans end up going to see the fortune tellers, which leads to the strange energy surrounding them attaching itself to Beast Boy, who... explodes(?), gets possessed and flies away as a raven.

Thoughts: Uh-huh... I don't know what to really say about this comic... Once again, nothing of note really happened... Like, the Titans went to a hospital. That's it! Shit, that should have taken up all of 3 pages, and yet that was the main story here... Deathstroke and Ravager are STILL killing suckas in red-hued rooms, same as they've been doing for a few issues now, in other words, nothing happened!!! Plus the Cyborg scene was just plain weird and it seems was only there as a sight gag. You find out his head is removed from his body while he sleeps, with his body getting soaked in pickle brine or something. (HA! Try our new classic Vic Vlasic!) For some reason. I mean, the before and after pictures of Cyborg don't even make sense...
Cyborg before...

And after...  How one panel turns into the other is way beyond me...

I just don't know with this series sometimes... (The best part is that he just flexes. That's how he shows Superboy his body works... but holding his arms up. Also why does his body soak in protein, which sounds gross, but his head doesn't need to?)


  1. Goddamn, dude, you really picked a shit issue to drop in on! But then, honestly, has there been a good issue yet??

    "It reminded me of Boogeyman v. Jillian Hall" UGH!! Damn you for making me remember that, JT!!! I had happily locked that away with that frigging clown from "It" and now I remember them both...

    Yeah, the people of San Fran got a hell of a raw deal here... It's just been destruction since the Titans moved to town! From Deathstroke to the Titans themselves! Also, am I to believe Batman has a Batmobile in every major city just in case? Like, I get Bruce is crazy rich, but instead of having a fleet of like a hundred Batmobiles, wouldn't his money be better served in some sort of crime prevention programs??

    Also, Cyborg randomly flexing at Superboy was......... strange, I guess works... Who just randomly flexes at their younger friend? It seemed so creepy... Much like older teenage Rose calling her father daddy constantly... That seems like something you eventually outgrow. Shit, I can't tell you the last time I called my mom "mommy" instead of "mom"... I guess in the end we learned this issue boring and creepy. Which sort of describes me! HA!! Zing! Suck it, X!!

  2. Also, I'd love to pop into a JT review, but you know..... :P